Thanks Pastor Ken
There aren't many Sundays where I regret missing service.... but this past Sunday was the last service for Pastor Ken Fong, who is retiring after 36 years (I think) of being pastor at Evergreen Baptist Church, Los Angeles. I wasn't planning on missing, but Nicole was heading up north to Sacramento to visit her parents that weekend, and a couple days before the trip she realized she was crazy for thinking she could do it on her own and asked for help. It wasn't a difficult decision as I had made the much more difficult decision of quitting pastoring to be a stay at home parent four years ago... but the finality of Sunday's service and ceremony struck me while looking over my Facebook feed. And it bums me out.
You see, Pastor Ken has had a tremendous impact in countless lives over the course of his ministry... in its various settings... Evergreen, IV/ Urbana, AADAP, Fuller, among others, so my story isn't unique by any means. But he has been a deeply influential mentor to me, shaping who I am, how I think about faith, and the decisions I've made along the way in determining what/ where God is calling me.
I met Pastor Ken way back in 2000. He performed the wedding of one of my best friends, Edwin, and the way he personalized the ceremony and brought out personal anecdotes of both Edwin and Jeannie throughout the course of the ceremony told me that he modeled the type of minister that I wanted to be... I stored that in the back of my mind. He then was the speaker a couple months later at the Urbana missions conference, and in front of 20,000 shared his and (his wife) Snoopy's story of adopting Janessa as a metaphor for our own adoptions into God's family. That blew my mind, and for the first time made me think seriously that all people are part of God's family, regardless of race, culture, ethnicity, or any of the other myriad of differences we use to separate ourselves.
The next summer, he spoke at the Free Methodist family camp while I was directing the middle high program with his youth pastor and another one of my best friends, Sherwin. The fact that Ken was okay having Sherwin on staff, with his various tattoos and eccentricities, reinforced what I remembered from the wedding...Ken was definitely not your stereotypical pastor. Coincidentally, Ken and I both had rough camp experiences. Pastor Ken angered many of the pastors and adults in attendance by speaking the truth about how the Conference needed to change, and I lost my temper with one of the middle school campers and yelled at him (he deserved it) and ended up getting fired the day after camp ended (on my day off!). That was probably a low point for me, as I was told that "even if I were Jesus Christ I couldn't keep my job." Ouch. Even though the board refused to accept my firing and mandated that the pastors and I go to mediation and work it out, ultimately my time at the church was over.
As bad as that was, the following Sunday after getting fired was my first Sunday at Evergreen... and I dug it immediately. One of the first things I did after that first Sunday was to ask Ken if I could finish my seminary internship at Evergreen. How crazy was that, especially considering there hadn't been any interns at Evergreen since their hive a couple years prior??? I definitely was some kind of naive to think that Ken would be okay having his first intern be someone who was fired from his old church several months prior? HAHAHA (I heard later on that Ken actually brought it up to his staff, and Pastor Melvin actually vouched for me saying something to the extent that the people who've left the conference tended to be the good ones. Thanks Melvin!)
I loved my time at Evergreen. During my internship, I witnessed Ken dealing with numerous crises at church, staff infidelity, sudden deaths in the church, having me and Sherwin around the church office far too much... but I loved every minute. I started dating Nicole during that time as well, and being able to talk through our relational ups and downs with the staff helped me work through issues we needed to address and the advice I got from Ken, Jonathan, Dave and Melvin kept me from doing something stupid like giving up! By the time Nicole and I decided to get married, even though we weren't at Evergreen anymore, it was a no brainer to ask Ken to perform the wedding alongside our chaplain at Pomona College, Chaplain Catharine Carlson, who was a mentor for both Nicole and me and deserves her own blog entry at some point!
What Ken taught me and his whole congregation was a different type of faith than what I had been taught prior.... one that challenged every fiber of our beings rather than being relegated to solely an irrelevant intellectual exercise. I honestly don't think I would have entered ministry if not for Ken showing me the potential of that type of faith. He was honest about his fallibility and mistakes he had made in the past, which was a completely different paradigm for how to view the senior pastor, and that actually made me respect him more. It made me realize the totality of God's love in a much greater sense. As I was getting ready to graduate from Fuller and end my internship, I remember Ken challenging me during one of my check-ins that he thought I would thrive best in a white church. I was appalled. I told Ken, "I'm not white. Why would I want to be at a white church?" But his challenge stuck with me, opened my eyes to how prejudiced I was pertaining to church... and within a week I was introduced to one of Sherwin's good friends JP, the pastor at a Black church, where I would go on to be the youth and family pastor for five years. There's no way I would have experienced all that God taught me at Panorama and the friendships I formed there if not for what Ken said. Nicole and I were married during our time at Panorama too! When I went through the American Baptist ordination process while at Panorama, it was again a no brainer to ask Ken to speak, as it wouldn't have happened if not for his influence.
The ministry failure that I am, God began showing me a picture of His family that extended far beyond the walls of the church during my last years at Panorama... and eventually my desire to minister to the LGBT and homeless communities led me to quit at Panorama and try something different, first at a homeless shelter in Hollywood then in trying to start a church downtown for people not accepted in regular churches. And its this time of my friendship with and mentorship from Ken that I learned to respect him the most. In speaking with Ken about helping me figure out how to best minister to the LGBT community, he understoof what I was trying to do even though at the time he wasn't there himself. I could tell that ministry on the fringes was something he knew was important... and over the course of many lunches and discussions, even though he wasn't yet where I was, we never argued. Each time we got together he would tell me how he was learning more on the subject... stuff I hadn't even thought of even though I was already completely affirming! As frustrating as it was to witness what we (Bonnie & Marian, along with Nate Brown and Kim Nelson... our little Evergreen affirming club) perceived as glacially slow (obviously of the pre-global warming variety) movement from Ken... looking back on it now what Ken was thinking through was not just the answers for himself, but the explanations he would need to move the church as well as others in his influence. He was trying not to neglect the shepherding aspect of his pastoral position for the sake of being prophetic and losing the opportunity to create lasting change.
By the time Ken was ready to make his proclamation in favor of the LGBT community, I was back at Evergreen and serving as the Biblical Reconciliation deacon... a position that I would not have accepted if not for Ken's request. It's been a real honor to have worked alongside Ken on this final chapter of Ken's legacy as senior pastor of Evergreen. I became the deacon almost a year after the church began their LGBT support group, the Open Door... and to see Ken's pastoral side in helping provide a healing space for so many of its members reminded me of what ministry should be like. There were still frustrations along the way, but it was evident throughout that Ken was moving forward at a deep cost to his ministerial reputation/ influence, and with lost friendships as longtime members left the church over Ken's movement on the issue. Even though such weighing of the cost led to a slower movement forward than I would have hoped for (I got angry quite often in board meetings), by this point it was clear that doing what he thought was right was what was driving Ken, not anything else.
Now that his time as our church's pastor is coming to an end, I think that that is the lasting message I am taking away from almost two decades of knowing and learning from Ken. I honestly don't know if I can/ will return to pastoral ministry after my time as a stay at home parent comes to an end in a couple years... but if I do, it would only be at a place like Ken's Evergreen... a place that ministers to everyone with honesty, transparency, and humility... a place that seeks to do God's will, the right thing to do rather than the easy thing. I think Ken's lasting legacy for me (and maybe everyone who views/viewed him as their pastor) is that settling for anything less than that just isn't a faith that's worth having. Thanks Pastor Ken for all you did for me, and I sure hope you're open to meeting up as I try to figure things what I'm to do with my life once my girls don't need me at home anymore!
You see, Pastor Ken has had a tremendous impact in countless lives over the course of his ministry... in its various settings... Evergreen, IV/ Urbana, AADAP, Fuller, among others, so my story isn't unique by any means. But he has been a deeply influential mentor to me, shaping who I am, how I think about faith, and the decisions I've made along the way in determining what/ where God is calling me.
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| My last day at Evergreen as an intern in 2003! |
I met Pastor Ken way back in 2000. He performed the wedding of one of my best friends, Edwin, and the way he personalized the ceremony and brought out personal anecdotes of both Edwin and Jeannie throughout the course of the ceremony told me that he modeled the type of minister that I wanted to be... I stored that in the back of my mind. He then was the speaker a couple months later at the Urbana missions conference, and in front of 20,000 shared his and (his wife) Snoopy's story of adopting Janessa as a metaphor for our own adoptions into God's family. That blew my mind, and for the first time made me think seriously that all people are part of God's family, regardless of race, culture, ethnicity, or any of the other myriad of differences we use to separate ourselves.
The next summer, he spoke at the Free Methodist family camp while I was directing the middle high program with his youth pastor and another one of my best friends, Sherwin. The fact that Ken was okay having Sherwin on staff, with his various tattoos and eccentricities, reinforced what I remembered from the wedding...Ken was definitely not your stereotypical pastor. Coincidentally, Ken and I both had rough camp experiences. Pastor Ken angered many of the pastors and adults in attendance by speaking the truth about how the Conference needed to change, and I lost my temper with one of the middle school campers and yelled at him (he deserved it) and ended up getting fired the day after camp ended (on my day off!). That was probably a low point for me, as I was told that "even if I were Jesus Christ I couldn't keep my job." Ouch. Even though the board refused to accept my firing and mandated that the pastors and I go to mediation and work it out, ultimately my time at the church was over.
As bad as that was, the following Sunday after getting fired was my first Sunday at Evergreen... and I dug it immediately. One of the first things I did after that first Sunday was to ask Ken if I could finish my seminary internship at Evergreen. How crazy was that, especially considering there hadn't been any interns at Evergreen since their hive a couple years prior??? I definitely was some kind of naive to think that Ken would be okay having his first intern be someone who was fired from his old church several months prior? HAHAHA (I heard later on that Ken actually brought it up to his staff, and Pastor Melvin actually vouched for me saying something to the extent that the people who've left the conference tended to be the good ones. Thanks Melvin!)
I loved my time at Evergreen. During my internship, I witnessed Ken dealing with numerous crises at church, staff infidelity, sudden deaths in the church, having me and Sherwin around the church office far too much... but I loved every minute. I started dating Nicole during that time as well, and being able to talk through our relational ups and downs with the staff helped me work through issues we needed to address and the advice I got from Ken, Jonathan, Dave and Melvin kept me from doing something stupid like giving up! By the time Nicole and I decided to get married, even though we weren't at Evergreen anymore, it was a no brainer to ask Ken to perform the wedding alongside our chaplain at Pomona College, Chaplain Catharine Carlson, who was a mentor for both Nicole and me and deserves her own blog entry at some point!
What Ken taught me and his whole congregation was a different type of faith than what I had been taught prior.... one that challenged every fiber of our beings rather than being relegated to solely an irrelevant intellectual exercise. I honestly don't think I would have entered ministry if not for Ken showing me the potential of that type of faith. He was honest about his fallibility and mistakes he had made in the past, which was a completely different paradigm for how to view the senior pastor, and that actually made me respect him more. It made me realize the totality of God's love in a much greater sense. As I was getting ready to graduate from Fuller and end my internship, I remember Ken challenging me during one of my check-ins that he thought I would thrive best in a white church. I was appalled. I told Ken, "I'm not white. Why would I want to be at a white church?" But his challenge stuck with me, opened my eyes to how prejudiced I was pertaining to church... and within a week I was introduced to one of Sherwin's good friends JP, the pastor at a Black church, where I would go on to be the youth and family pastor for five years. There's no way I would have experienced all that God taught me at Panorama and the friendships I formed there if not for what Ken said. Nicole and I were married during our time at Panorama too! When I went through the American Baptist ordination process while at Panorama, it was again a no brainer to ask Ken to speak, as it wouldn't have happened if not for his influence.
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| Pastor Ken at my ordination ceremony at Panorama Baptist Church, 2008 |
The ministry failure that I am, God began showing me a picture of His family that extended far beyond the walls of the church during my last years at Panorama... and eventually my desire to minister to the LGBT and homeless communities led me to quit at Panorama and try something different, first at a homeless shelter in Hollywood then in trying to start a church downtown for people not accepted in regular churches. And its this time of my friendship with and mentorship from Ken that I learned to respect him the most. In speaking with Ken about helping me figure out how to best minister to the LGBT community, he understoof what I was trying to do even though at the time he wasn't there himself. I could tell that ministry on the fringes was something he knew was important... and over the course of many lunches and discussions, even though he wasn't yet where I was, we never argued. Each time we got together he would tell me how he was learning more on the subject... stuff I hadn't even thought of even though I was already completely affirming! As frustrating as it was to witness what we (Bonnie & Marian, along with Nate Brown and Kim Nelson... our little Evergreen affirming club) perceived as glacially slow (obviously of the pre-global warming variety) movement from Ken... looking back on it now what Ken was thinking through was not just the answers for himself, but the explanations he would need to move the church as well as others in his influence. He was trying not to neglect the shepherding aspect of his pastoral position for the sake of being prophetic and losing the opportunity to create lasting change.
By the time Ken was ready to make his proclamation in favor of the LGBT community, I was back at Evergreen and serving as the Biblical Reconciliation deacon... a position that I would not have accepted if not for Ken's request. It's been a real honor to have worked alongside Ken on this final chapter of Ken's legacy as senior pastor of Evergreen. I became the deacon almost a year after the church began their LGBT support group, the Open Door... and to see Ken's pastoral side in helping provide a healing space for so many of its members reminded me of what ministry should be like. There were still frustrations along the way, but it was evident throughout that Ken was moving forward at a deep cost to his ministerial reputation/ influence, and with lost friendships as longtime members left the church over Ken's movement on the issue. Even though such weighing of the cost led to a slower movement forward than I would have hoped for (I got angry quite often in board meetings), by this point it was clear that doing what he thought was right was what was driving Ken, not anything else.
Now that his time as our church's pastor is coming to an end, I think that that is the lasting message I am taking away from almost two decades of knowing and learning from Ken. I honestly don't know if I can/ will return to pastoral ministry after my time as a stay at home parent comes to an end in a couple years... but if I do, it would only be at a place like Ken's Evergreen... a place that ministers to everyone with honesty, transparency, and humility... a place that seeks to do God's will, the right thing to do rather than the easy thing. I think Ken's lasting legacy for me (and maybe everyone who views/viewed him as their pastor) is that settling for anything less than that just isn't a faith that's worth having. Thanks Pastor Ken for all you did for me, and I sure hope you're open to meeting up as I try to figure things what I'm to do with my life once my girls don't need me at home anymore!
Well, this was completely unexpected by me! I'm sad too hearing that you couldn't be part of my final worship service, Nori. None of us can be in two different places at once, so you needed to be with your girls. David C. is working on a video compilation of the highlights of my banquet and the final service. The one thing I hope you at least get to see is the unbelievable standing ovation I received as I stepped off the stage for the last time as not jus the senior pastor but the primary preacher at EBCLA. That response was not just an affirmation of me and my work, but also an affirmation of all my staff, all you deacons, all the members of The Journey and The Open Door, etc. Mind-blowing affirmation to offset lingering doubts. Life-changing affirmations to bolster all of our spirits amidst the myriad losses.
ReplyDeleteThank you for remembering ALL of those times. As I read through your chronology of our intersecting paths, I could see that our time together in fact mirrored how I approach most people, most situations, and myself. When you asked me for that internship, I responded with "I've had issues with Pastor ____. So anyone he fires, I'd want to hire."
Nori, such a lovely and heartfelt tribute! I am glad to know this story, how Ken has influenced your path in big and small ways. You are someone who could carry on his work, especially to the overlooked and marginalized, and I'm sure you'll do just that. I just want to know who are those emaciated guys in that top picture??? Give them a sandwich!!
ReplyDeleteNice job Nori... I'm honored to walk alongside you as a ministry and mission peer.
ReplyDelete